Fri, 15 Sep 2023 18:48:27 -0300WeeblySun, 04 Feb 2018 19:52:42 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-twenty-two-pick-hype-and-ridiculous-bullshitIt's been two weeks since this year's Superb Owl teams were decided. I've spent the past two weeks mostly not thinking about football at all. It's been refreshing. As for the pre-game coverage, I mostly stay away from that as well.

That's for the best, I think.

Any time I've heard something in the past couple of weeks that's "related" (and I use this term very loosely) to the big game, whether it's because I had the TV on or went on a sports or news website or was listening to the radio in the car, it's been mostly absurd garbage. It's not really worth my time.

I did get a chance to watch five episodes of "Tom vs.Time," though. It was well-done, interesting, and it gave me the title for this post. Apparently, when Bill Belichick was addressing his team before one of their previous Superb Owls, he told them that "...the (game's) environment is all about hype and ridiculous bullshit."

As always, I'm hoping for a good game today. No injuries. No bad calls ruining the game. Maybe a large piece of equipment falls on Justin Timberlake during the halftime show. I just want to enjoy the game, and maybe a few neat commercials, and ignore the rest.

Final Score: New England 36, Philadelphia 32]]>Sun, 21 Jan 2018 07:21:52 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-twenty-picks-the-bonus-roundAfter last weekend's games, I feel as though nothing really matters at this point, but not in a bad way.

One of the things I've always hated about watching football is when a team I absolutely despise makes the big game at the end. Sure, it gives me something to root against, but if that team wins, it just leaves me with a terrible feeling. This season, I don't think I'll have a problem with any of these teams making the big game. I think it'd be awesome if Jacksonville and/or Minnesota won. If I'm being honest, the thought of either of those teams winning it all makes me quite happy. Though not necessarily a popular opinion, I actually like the Pats, and as far as I'm concerned, Danny Amendola can have all the rings. And, sure, I give the Philly fans a hard time, but it would be great for Nick Foles to win after all the crap he's been through, and any team that has Chris Long on it negates pretty much any asshole who plays or roots for said team.

All this aside, I'm just incredibly, unbelievably, indescribably grateful that Pittsburgh is out. In a league with no shortage of garbage human beings, the Pittsburgh Steelers are, collectively as an organization, from top to bottom, the most comprehensive collection of assholes in the entire league. Just having to endure watching them play damages me as a human being. Watching them lose last week was euphoric. After that, everything else is gravy.


Week Twenty

Winner in Bold

This Conference

Jacksonville at New England
I've been saying for a while (you could ask my wife) that the Jags are not the team that the Pats want to face in the playoffs. Historically, Brady has struggled against defences that can pressure him without blitzing, and the Jags are certainly capable of that. Add to that the talent that Jacksonville has in the rest of its defence, and you have a really tough challenge for New England's offence, maybe the toughest it's faced all season. I don't think the Jags will be able to score much against the Pats' vastly underrated defence, so the ultimate key to this game will be New England's patience on offence. The Pats will have to grind it out a bit, try to hit Gronk for the odd decent gainer, get the ball to Dion Lewis in space, and control the clock. Brady has to be willing to throw it away, take a sack, do whatever it takes to keep from turning it over. I'm fascinated by this matchup. I just hope it doesn't get ruined because of Brady's hand injury. Honestly, I think with Brian Hoyer behind Center, as much as I like the guy, the Pats get massacred.


That Conference

Minnesota at Philadelphia

Case Keenum or Nick Foles is going to the big game, which is awesome in my book. Both have an embarrassment of riches at the skill positions, although Adam Thielen is nursing a bad back, which would be a blow to Minnesota's offence. Defence is the key to this game. Philly has a deep and talented defensive front. Minnesota's defence is probably better overall. Points should be hard to come by in this one. I'm ok with that, as I like to watch good defensive play, and I'm not a moron who needs a high-scoring game to keep me interested.]]>Sat, 13 Jan 2018 10:15:14 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-nineteen-picks-division-bellThis week, with some of the chaff eliminated, we introduce the conference’s top seeds into the playoff mix. In a testament to the type of season it’s been, none of these games are sure things. I’m looking forward to some interesting contests, as at least some of these matchups are quite intriguing.
 
 
Week Nineteen
 
Winner in Bold
 
Saturday
 
Atlanta at Philadelphia
Philly was, for a while at least, the best team in the league, but then they lost Carson Wentz and their offence fell apart. Now they find themselves the NFC’s top seed, and an underdog at home to a team that qualified on the last day of the regular season. Here, I might be tempted to think that Philly is still a very good team, and that they’ll find a way to win this one.  Atlanta is not just any playoff qualifier, though. Though their offence has struggled at times this season, it’s still loaded, and their defence has been outstanding lately. I’d like to say I’m sorry to all the Philadelphia fans, but who am I kidding, it’s Philadelphia; nobody likes them anyway.
 

Tennessee at New England
Here’s how Tennessee wins this game: luck. Don’t laugh, it happens. The Pats commit a couple of early turnovers, their offensive line gets dinged, who knows. Tennessee’s offence is built to grind and protect leads. They just have to get one. On paper, the way the Pats’ offence is playing, this one’s a blowout. They don’t play the games on paper, though, do they?
 
 
Sunday
 
Jacksonville at Pittsburgh
I find it funny how so many seem to be glossing over the Jags’ 30-9 shellacking of Pittsburgh back in October as some kind of aberration. Jacksonville still has the brutal pass rush that forced Roethlisberger into making bad throws, and the Jags still have their ball-hawking secondary to collect any lame ducks that Ben wants to put up. The key here, as everyone knows, is Jacksonville’s offence, and especially Blake Bortles. He doesn’t have to do much, just make a few throws, get some first downs, chew up the clock. What he absolutely can’t do is play like he did in the first half against Buffalo last week. If he gives Pittsburgh’s offence 20-plus minutes of possession in the first half, Pittsburgh will make the Jags pay, and the Jags offence is not built to play from behind.
 

New Orleans at Minnesota
This is probably the surest bet for a good game this weekend. I like this Minnesota team a lot. Their defence is top-tier, their offence is playing great. All the pieces are there. New Orleans is no slouch either, with their two-headed RB monster, Kamaringram, a QB who can still sling it, a solid pass rush, and a talented young secondary. This should be a really good game.]]>Sat, 06 Jan 2018 10:31:31 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-eighteen-picks-where-the-wild-things-areFor a variety of reasons, this year’s playoffs look pretty wide open. None of the top seeds look invincible, and some of the teams playing this weekend certainly have the goods to make deep playoff runs (Not the Bills, though. They’re terrible.). To the winners of this weekend’s games, your prize is, for the AFC, a trip to either Pittsburgh or Foxborough, both challenging, and for the NFC, a trip to either Minnesota (tough) or Philly (maybe not so much…).
 
Week Eighteen
 
Winner in Bold
 
Saturday
 
Tennessee at Kansas City
Both of these teams are lucky to even be in the playoffs, but they’re here, so that’s that. Tennessee will have a hard time scoring points with Demarco Murray out, but might be able to keep this close if their defence plays out of its mind and if Alex Smith starts sailing passes like he did when KC was in its mid-season funk. This is probably the game I’m least looking forward to this weekend.
 
 
Atlanta at LAR
The only way I can see Atlanta taking this one is if Jared Goff and Todd Gurley go in the tank in their first playoff action and turn the ball over a bunch of times, which could happen. With Aaron Donald and Co. coming after him, Matt Ryan could be in for a long game.
 
 
Sunday
 
Buffalo at Jacksonville
Jacksonville has been maddeningly inconsistent this season, but I can’t envision a scenario where Buffalo isn’t completely smothered by the Jags’ defence.
 
 
Carolina at New Orleans
Both defences are playing well, so the question here is whether Cam Newton can will his offence into keeping pace with the superior Saints attack. Maybe Newton makes some big plays, and maybe New Orleans’s young CBs whither under playoff pressure, but New Orleans looks like the safer pick here.
]]>Sun, 31 Dec 2017 05:29:58 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-seventeen-picks-motivation​We’re at the end of the regular season, and, with this slate of games, it’s all about motivation. Different teams, all playing with different goals in mind. Home field advantage, first round byes, division titles, and mere entrance into the postseason will be decided. Teams with no playoff chances will have players looking to pad stats, reach contract incentive levels, showcase their skills. With some of the teams, it’s hard to imagine what motivates them at this point.

​Whatever your motivation, enjoy the games. And thanks for reading.
 
Week Seventeen
 
Winner in Bold
 
Sunday (It’s all Sunday…)
 
Green Bay at Detroit
There’s nothing here that interests me in the slightest.
 
Houston at Indianapolis
Hard pass on this one, too.
 
Chicago at Minnesota
The Vikes will be looking to lock down the number two seed in the NFC.
 
NYJ at New England
With Pittsburgh playing Cleveland, the Pats can’t afford to let up against the Jets, with the number one seed in the AFC still in play.
 
Washington at NYG
Nope.
 
Dallas at Philadelphia
This is a curious situation for Philly. They’ve locked up the number one seed in the NFC, and might want to rest some starters, but do you let the hated Cowboys waltz into The Linc and lay a beating on you? For a team that still might be suffering from a post-Carson Wentz hangover, do you want to demoralize your players any further?
 
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
The Steelers will go hard at the beginning of this one, knowing that the Jets always play the Pats tough.
 
Carolina at Atlanta
This could very well be the game of the week when you factor in both team’s motivations, the fact that they’re division rivals, and the quality of the teams themselves. Carolina will be playing for a shot at the NFC South title and an outside chance at the number two NFC seed, while Atlanta can make the playoffs with a win.
 
Cincinnati at Baltimore
The easiest scenario for Baltimore is that they’re in if they win.
 
Buffalo at Miami
Buffalo needs a win and some help. Miami is playing for nothing and should be loose.
 
New Orleans at Tampa
The Saints will want to win to keep Carolina from stealing the division title.
 
Jacksonville at Tennessee
This is another tricky scenario. The Jags are the number three AFC seed no matter what happens, but it’s hard to imagine them wanting to end the season on a two-game losing streak by rolling over to division rival Tennessee.
 
Kansas City at Denver
KC is locked in as the number four AFC seed, and is resting starters, including Alex Smith.
 
Oakland at LAC
The Chargers need a win and help to make the playoffs, and Philip Rivers isn’t going to let up on the hated Raiders.
 
San Francisco at LAR
The Rams are the NFC West champs, and will either be the third or fourth seed in the NFC; apparently they plan on resting starters this week.
 
Arizona at Seattle
The Cards have nothing to play for, playoffs-wise, but their rivalry with Seattle is a pretty big deal, and they’d love to knock the Seahawks out of playoff contention.]]>Sat, 23 Dec 2017 11:59:36 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-sixteen-picks-a-bunch-of-games-i-wont-be-watching​Kind of busy this weekend. Good busy, but busy nonetheless. Enjoy your football, if you’re so inclined to watch. I have no time for it this weekend (though I might PVR a game or two for later…).

Happy Holidays, folks.
 
Week Sixteen
 
Winner in Bold
 
Saturday
 
Indianapolis at Baltimore
 
Minnesota at Green Bay
 
 
Sunday
 
Detroit at Cincinnati
 
Miami at Kansas City
 
Buffalo at New England
 
Cleveland at Chicago
 
Tampa at Carolina
 
Atlanta at New Orleans
 
Denver at Washington
 
LAR at Tennessee
 
LAC at NYJ
 
Jacksonville at San Francisco
 
Seattle at Dallas
 
NYG at Arizona
 
 
Monday
 
Pittsburgh at Houston
 
Oakland at Philadelphia]]>Sun, 17 Dec 2017 14:38:08 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-fifteen-picks-oh-yeah-footballNote: Imagine my surprise when I turned on the TV last night, after a very busy day, to discover that I had missed an entire game, and a second was in the fourth quarter. Saturday football; I totally whiffed on that. Too much going on. My mind's not really on football this week. Too bad about the Chargers, though. Oh well, on to what's left.

Week Fifteen

Winner in Bold

Sunday

Miami at Buffalo
I'd expect Miami, fresh off its big victory over the Pats, to falter in Buffalo. That would be the Miami thing to do. But what if they didn't?

Green Bay at Carolina
Aaron Rodgers. He's cleared. He's ready. He's not completely healed. I don't know. I have a hard time believing that it matters at this point.

Baltimore at Cleveland
Make no mistake, Baltimore allowing Pittsburgh's comeback last week was one of the most embarrassing things that's happened in the league this year. John Harbaugh looking like a complete idiot was at least some consolation.

Houston at Jacksonville
Jacksonville might be my favourite contender this season. The AFC South is theirs for the taking now.

Cincinnati at Minnesota
Cincy embarrassed themselves last week, too, but only a die-hard fan would even care at this point. They're completely irrelevant. It's time to blow the whole thing up.

NYJ at New Orleans
This is a fairly soft matchup for the Saints as they fight to stay atop an extremely competitive NFC South.

Philadelphia at NYG
That sound you would have heard last week was of thousands of Philly fans' hearts breaking, if they had hearts. I actually like Nick Foles, so all is not lost.

Arizona at Washington
Meaningless game.

LAR at Seattle
With a chance to lock down the division, I'd expect the Rams to falter in noisy Seattle, like Wentz and the Eagles did a few weeks back. However, Aaron Donald and the Rams' fearsome defensive front might have something to say about that.

New England at Pittsburgh
Is that this week? I hadn't heard. This one's pretty simple. Pittsburgh wins by getting pressure on Brady with the least amount of personnel possible, or with creative, well-disguised blitzes, because the Pats' trio of versatile RBs will give the Steelers defense fits. New England wins if they can take away what Pittsburgh does best on offence (big plays in the passing game, particularly to Antonio Brown), which is a hallmark of Belichick defences. I wonder if the Pats will have enough healthy bodies on defence to do what they need to do. Should be interesting. (Note: Everyone seems to be talking about this game as though it was a preview of an inevitable rematch in the playoffs, but I have a hunch that healthy Jags team would kill either of them.)

Tennessee at San Francisco
I'd love a 'niners upset here, and it could happen.

Dallas at Oakland
In a season filled with disappointing underachievers, Oakland stands out. With so many key injuries, the best result Raiders' fans can hope for here is that Derek Carr gets out in one piece.


Monday Night

Atlanta at Tampa
The Falcons are coming on strong. They might not win the NFC South, but they also might be its best team right now. They also might not make the playoffs. Such is life in the ultra-competitive, top-heavy NFC playoff race.

]]>Thu, 14 Dec 2017 23:39:50 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-fifteen-thursday-does-anyone-careWeek Fifteen

Thursday Night

Denver at Indianapolis

It's Thursday Night, and we've got a 4-9 team facing a 3-10 team. No one should care. I know I don't.

​Winner: Denver]]>Sun, 10 Dec 2017 14:43:43 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-fourteen-picks-bunches-of-hunchesWeek Fourteen

Winner in Bold

Sunday

Indianapolis at Buffalo
Another Jacoby Brissett pick. Love that guy.

Minnesota at Carolina
As we move into the latter stages of the season, the Vikes look like a team with few weaknesses, while Carolina are mostly lucky to be where they're at.

Chicago at Cincinnati
A lot of Bungles out of action today, but most of them are assholes. Addition by subtraction?

Green Bay at Cleveland
It's Cleveland. (I feel like I write the same thing every week.)

San Francisco at Houston
Handsome Jimmy G got his first win with the 'niners last week. Maybe this week he'll finish a drive with a TD.

Oakland at Kansas City
No lie, I'm really enjoying KC's collapse.

Detroit at Tampa
Not sure what's happened to Detroit lately, but I'm going with them this week as a hate (Tampa) pick.

Dallas at NYG
When the schedule came out, this one seemed like it would have more significance, didn't it?

Tennessee at Arizona
Tennessee should be able to win a snooze-fest in the desert.

NYJ at Denver
At some point, the Broncs' proud defence has to rise up and win one in spite of the offence.

Washington at LAC
Go Chargers! The West is yours for the taking.

Seattle at Jacksonville
Kudos to Seattle for really selling out against Philly last week. The Jags' defence is a bad matchup for Russell Wilson, though.

Philadelphia at LAR
Philly should bounce back nicely after what was probably a necessary humbling by Seattle last week.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh
After bashing them all season, why do I have this funny hunch that Baltimore will squeak this one out against a Pittsburgh team with Patriots on their minds?

​
Monday Night

New England at Miami
On the other hand, it's not like the Pats to get caught looking ahead.
]]>Thu, 07 Dec 2017 17:10:49 GMThttps://www.rougeonion.com/hate-watching-the-nfl-2017/week-fourteen-thursday-bad-night-for-a-good-gameWeek Fourteen

Thursday Night

New Orleans at Atlanta

This is a tremendously important game for both teams. Atlanta would love to eat into the two-game divisional lead that New Orleans currently holds over them. A New Orleans win would deal a significant blow to their divisional rival, with the added bonus of getting to the ten-win plateau that NFC leaders Philadelphia and Minnesota already occupy. It's too bad that such an important matchup has to take place on Thursday night; the quality of this game would be so much better if the teams were to have a full week to prepare.

In a game like this, I look for small indicators of advantage. In Atlanta's favour, they played an earlier game this past Sunday, faced a tougher defence (Minnesota's) than New Orleans's, and are facing a Saints secondary that is a bit banged-up. Beyond all that, I don't think that New Orleans is as good as its record suggests.

This should be an interesting game.

Winner: Atlanta]]>