Before I get to this week's picks, I wanted to address a couple of incidents of idiocy from last week's slate that have gotten a lot of attention this week. Though I'm sure many of you might be sick of hearing about them, there's a few things I think bear mentioning that I haven't heard nearly enough about.

So, that Vontaze Burfict is a real darling, isn't he? He's a really good player, but he's been a menace for years, with the ankle-twisting and the cheap-shots. And, true to form, he once again saved his best buffoonery for Pittsburgh, delivering a head shot to Antonio Brown, and generally acting like a belligerent idiot.

Based on Burfict's previous record of bad behaviour and suspensions, I have to say that I was surprised that the league chose only to fine him for his most recent actions. But I guess I shouldn't be too surprised when the league drops the ball on player safety. If you want to try to explain to me how a player testing positive for HGH from rehabbing an injury gets a four-game suspension, while a multiple repeat offender deliberately hits another player in the head and gets to play again the following week, I'm all ears.

So yeah, I think Burfict's actions have been way over the line. However, the one person I do not want to hear anything from on the subject is Ben Roethlisberger.

Ben Roethlisberger is a moron.

Now some of you might be thinking that he couldn't be that dumb if he plays QB in the NFL, but really, the way he plays, it's mostly physical ability and memorizing some plays. Ben Roethlisberger is basically like a border collie that has been taught to herd sheep.

(Wait. I think I went too far there. Border collies are actually really smart. I need to dial it back a bit. Let me try this again.)

Ben Roethlisberger is like a chicken that has been taught to play tic-tac-toe, only the chicken doesn't have a coach feeding it plays through a radio transmitter. (There, that's better.)

This is the guy who almost fucked up his career by crashing his unlicensed, unhelmeted head into the pavement while riding a motorcycle.

This is a guy who has had multiple, credible sexual assault allegations leveled against him, and who has been suspended by the league for his off-the-field conduct relating to one of them.

This is a guy who was recently in the news for being featured in Stormy Daniels's book, where the porn star recounts a weird, sad, and scary encounter with the football star.

And, this is the guy, the Pittsburgh QB, the team leader and spokesman, who, after a game last season in which his teammate Ryan Shazier suffered a frightening injury, and in which the aforementioned Burfict was concussed by a dirty hit from Pittsburgh WR JuJu Smith-Shuster, had this to say about what had transpired:

Lisa Salters: "Ben, how would you explain just kind of the viciousness and the brutality of this game?"
Ben Roethlisberger: "AFC North football."
Salters: "That's it?"
Ben: "Yup."

I've heard a lot from Roethlisberger this week regarding the actions of Burfict in last week's game. I've heard him complaining about the hit on Brown, and about how Burfict threatened to do the same to Smith-Shuster. Suddenly this is a big deal to Big Ben. Last season, when it was Burfict on the receiving end (Smith-Shuster, if you recall, stood astride the prone Burfict and celebrated his cheap shot), it was just "AFC North football." Brown called it "karma." Smith-Shuster has bragged about the compliments (and free drinks) he gets for his deed. Apparently, there are t-shirts.

Not a peep from Roethlisberger.

So yeah, Vontaze Burfict is a problem. Everyone knows this. What I don't need is the media trotting out Ben Roethlisberger as some kind of wise sage or moral authority. The league, and the sycophants that cover it, have done quite enough to gloss over Rothlisberger's checkered past.

You want to talk about dirty play, Big Ben? Take a look at your own team. Or better yet, just shut up altogether. Some of us still remember, no matter how much the league wants us to forget.

I also want to talk about the sad incident in the KC-New England game where Tyreek Hill had beer thrown on him by a spectator.

This is wrong. It is reprehensible. It is, in my opinion, assault. It should not have happened. Things like this should not happen. Hill was playing in hostile territory, had just scored a TD, and ran right up to a group of customers (note the word "f" word I'm deliberately not using), and I've heard it said that he should have expected what he got, but I categorically disagree with this opinion. Throwing anything, assaulting a player in any way is wrong. Period.

The person who threw the beer was swiftly identified, banned from Foxborough, and faces possible criminal charges, not to mention the embarrassment and other ripple effects that a public misstep such as this tends to have on a person's life. 

There has been a lot of publicity surrounding this incident. One article I saw went into painstaking detail as to the myriad consequences this individual faces as a result of his actions, from legal, to financial, to personal. He could be in a lot of trouble. Whatever your feelings about this, I believe that the publicity is a good thing, as it should serve to discourage such actions in the future.

I couldn't help but wonder how Hill must have felt in that situation. He'd just scored, and was probably feeling pretty good about himself. Then, suddenly, screams, shouts, profanity, violence. I wonder if he was afraid, even briefly. I wonder if he felt powerless. I wonder if, as the beer splashed against him, he felt degraded, humiliated, violated.

Sadly, I wondered how his girlfriend felt when, in December of 2014, pregnant with Hill's child, Hill choked her, slapped her, picked her up by her hair, and struck her in the stomach. 

I don't like to think about such things, but I know this, and I can't unknow it. No matter what Hill does, I will always remember this. It will forever be a part of who he is, and no matter how much the league wants us to forget it, I can't, and never will. And I don't think that's wrong.

I don't know what will happen to the guy who threw beer on Tyreek Hill. That's up to the authorities now. I do know that Tyreek Hill, despite some pretty compelling physical evidence, initially pleaded not guilty, eventually pleaded guilty, and never went to jail for what he did. He was dismissed from his college team, caught on with another team, was drafted, is a big star now, has completed his probation, and has had his record expunged.

Nothing Tyreek Hill has done in his past has anything to do with his having had beer thrown on him last Sunday. I just think that some things should never be forgotten.


And now...

Winners in Bold:

Sunday

Tennessee at The Boltes of Los Angelese
I'm not sure what to make of Tennessee any more, but I do know that I've been pretty high on Philip Rivers and Co. since the beginning of the season.

Houston at Jacksonville
Last week, I talked about the rare occurrence of Houston winning back-to-back games because the opposing coach out-stupided Bill O'Brien. Then, the whole Buffalo franchise topped that by having Nathan "how-is-he-still-on-this-team" Peterman hand the game to Houston. Meanwhile, are there any coaches in Jacksonville who would like to try to, I don't know, COACH?!? I've said it before: it doesn't matter how good your players are, you can't just show up and expect to win. Dallas flat out embarrassed Jacksonville's defence last week simply through coaching and execution. I'd like to think that Houston could duplicate that, but Bill O'Brien is a terrible coach. This game baffles me. Houston's defence is good enough to give Blake Bortles fits, but I wonder if Houston's offence will be able to generate much offence without getting Deshaun Watson killed (which seems to be O'Brien's mission). If Jacksonville's coaches can't figure out a way to get a decent effort out of their charges this week, I say fire them all.


Carolina at Philadelphia
Philly's well-rested, so there's that. Carolina's defence has been uncharacteristically generous, and Philly's offence is starting to get its act together. Should be a good game.

Minnesota at NYJ
New York has been surprisingly frisky of late, but I think Minnesota is beginning to hit their stride, and will be a tough out for anyone from this point on.

New England at Chicago
Bill Belichick would like us all to know that Khalil Mack is not Lawrence Taylor. OK; got it. Belichick's assessment must have really hurt, because Mack is listed as "Questionable" on the injury report. Words hurt, Bill. Seriously, though, this should be a good game, as the Pats will be facing a defence that's a bit more stout than the one they faced last week. In order for Chicago to pull this one out, their offence will have to find a way to keep pace. I can't quite see it happening.

Buffalo at Indianapolis
So, will it be Nathan Peterman, or will it be Derek Anderson under Center for Buffalo? It'll be Andrew Luck for Indy, and that's good enough for me.

Cleveland at Tampa
Tampa got good production from their offence last week, but that was against Atlanta, so it doesn't count as anything special. Cleveland's defence has a bit more on the ball, and I'm counting on them to get the job done this week. Warning: Hate pick; if you don't know why, you haven't been paying attention.

Detroit at Miami
Looks like Brock Osweiler will be getting the start for Miami again this week. So, no surprises, Detroit. You know exactly what you're up against, and you should be able to take care of business. You can't just show up and expect to win, like Chicago did.

New Orleans at Baltimore
This will be a real test for the Baltimore defence that everyone is so high on right now, a test I think Baltimore will fail.

Dallas at Washington
Well, well, well. It appears that Dallas has finally remembered what Dak Prescott is capable of. In this mediocre division, that counts as monumental news, especially if they can get more efforts out of their offence like the one they produced last week against Jacksonville. Note: Sean Lee should return to action this week; enjoy it while it lasts, Dallas fans.

LAR at San Francisco
LA will be nicer to San Fran than Green Bay was last week; instead of breaking San Fran's hearts with a last-second win, LA will put them away early.


Sunday Night

Cincinnati at Kansas City
This could be a another shootout, as KC doesn't play too much defence, and Cincy can really get it going. I'd like to think that Cincy can find a way on defence to limit KC, but it all comes down to coaching, and I still see too many mistakes in fundamentals to trust Cincy to get the job done. Should be a really entertaining game. Bet the over.



Monday Night

NYG at Atlanta
Happened upon an old column of mine from five years ago, and this is what I wrote about these two teams:

• Do they just let Eli air it out and go for the shootout win? That’s fine in theory, but they can’t seem to protect Eli and he looks lost this year.
• The Falcons began the season as contenders for one of the top seeds in the NFC, but now they sit at 1-4, ravaged by injuries...

The more things change, the more they stay the same. (Atlanta had an early bye that season.)

If ever there was a time for New York to get the offence cranking, this is it. I can almost hear it now: "Hey Eli, you could go for 400 against this defence." "So, how many checkdowns is that?"

Throw the ball, Eli. Matt Ryan will. And well.

So there I was, watching the Monday Night game between San Francisco and Green Bay (which was a lot more competitive than I thought it would be), when a play occurred near the end of the first quarter that was like countless others I've seen before. San Fran had kicked off, the Green Bay player fielded the ball near his own goal line, during the return (in this case, only after about twenty yards), I see flags flying. Immediately, reflexively, I say, "That's coming back."

You know it. I know it. It's either holding or an illegal block in the back.

In all the years I've spent watching football, how many times has this happened? Hundreds? Thousands? I mean, it happens at least once a game, right? And the result is always the same; the penalty is enforced at the spot of the foul.

Anyway, back to this particular play.

The return goes for 66 yards. The returner gets gang-tackled out of bounds. And there's a player injured on the field.

What's the point of it all?

As soon as those flags fly, we all know what's going to happen. Long return? Touchdown? Doesn't count. Pointless.

In recent years, the league has made changes that are supposed to improve player safety. Most of them involve protecting the QB, while others are meant to protect so-called "skill players." One of the more recent adjustments has officials blowing the play dead earlier for certain defensive neutral zone infractions. This has upset some fans, as it eliminates the exciting "free plays" that QBs like Aaron Rodgers use to great advantage. To keen observers like myself, the adjustment seems unnecessary, as the "unabated to the quarterback" rule already exists.

But that's the league. The game is QBs, and they must be protected, sometimes to ridiculous degrees.

Kickoffs can be exciting, but they, more than any other plays, involve some of the greatest potential for injury. You have 22 players on the field, most of whom are running at or near full speed, TOWARDS opposing players. That's a lot of high-speed collisions between very large humans. To the league's credit, they did move the kickoff line up five yards to create more touchbacks, so it stands to reason that they recognize the danger inherent in this particular type of play.

So, why not take it one step further? As soon as there is a hold or block in the back by the returning team, blow the play dead. In the case of the play I described above, several more seconds of pointless collisions, a feeble attempt at a tackle by the kicker, plus a violent gang-tackle out-of-bounds, would have been avoided (I couldn't say for sure whether the injury to the San Fran player could have been avoided.).

I think it's a hallmark of the league's hypocrisy that it goes way overboard to protect QBs, even at the expense of entertainment, but it comes up short when it comes to "lowly" special-teamers.

It's kind of like how the league always promotes itself as being proactive when it comes to player safety, yet it still has Thursday Night Football.

And speaking of...


Thursday Night

Denver at Arizona

Truthfully, this isn't a game I'm particularly looking forward to. Neither team is really going anywhere this season. There might be a tendency to want to pick Arizona in this one; they've played hard, and lost some close games to far superior opponents. Don't be fooled. Effort counts for a lot, but there's not enough talent depth here, and their one win came in a game where they had a defensive TD, and two more TD drives start deep in San Francisco's territory after turnovers. Denver should win this game, but my main concern here is that the team hasn't consistently put forth its best effort this season. For those tempted to pick against Denver, it's worth noting that they could suffer a letdown after losing a tough game to LAR on Sunday. Also worth noting: neither of these teams' defences has been very good against the run this season, so with Denver having a strong running game, and with Arizona having David Johnson, expect to see lots of hand-offs and play-action passes.

Winner: Denver

So, I'm at work the other day, just going through my daily routine. As usual, there's a TV on, but I'm doing my own thing and not really paying attention.

Slowly, though, as I'm organizing things, I begin to become aware of what's playing on the TV. It starts slowly, just a general awareness of the familiarity of the voice. It's a voice I've gotten quite good at ignoring. But it keeps going on and on and...

...suddenly it dawns on me...

...and all at once this full-blown thought enters my head. It's a question:

"Why is that idiot talking about Jim Brown?"

Then I give my head a shake, like a horse scattering flies, and head out to do some work.

I didn't find out until much later that Brown, Kanye West (I can't believe I just fucking typed that name) and some others visited the oval office for some reason.

I guess hearing that Brown was associating with the POTUS seemed odd. But then I thought, "How much do I really know about Brown?" The answer: besides the football, not much, really. I mean, he has a reputation for being an activist, and was an important symbol during the Civil Rights Movement in the '60s.

So I did a little reading.

To be brief:

• he likes Trump 
• he thinks Kaepernick is disrespecting the flag 
• he has a disturbing history of violence against women

I think that most of what I thought I knew about Jim Brown was just that; things I THOUGHT I knew. His glory days as a player are long since passed, so the media relies on boilerplate superlatives to describe him when his name comes up. You know how it goes; "The Legendary Jim Brown." Because of his association with the NFL, his achievements are highlighted, while his indiscretions are ignored or glossed over.

I mean, that's the NFL in a nutshell, isn't it?

Jameis Winston is making his first start of the season this week, after seeing his first action in Week Four off the bench. It's significant that he's starting this week, since, if the league had adhered to its own policy, he'd still be suspended, and only available to play next week. However, as I've mentioned numerous times before, he got a sweetheart three-game suspension in exchange for not appealing and making the story a bigger PR mess for the league (like Ezekiel Elliot and Jerry Jones did). Winston will probably have a good game against a bad Atlanta defence. His achievements will be highlighted, while his indiscretions will be ignored or glossed over.

That's the NFL in a nutshell.

So, don't be surprised, like I was, about Jim Brown cosying up to the POTUS. Sometimes, reputation is earned, and sometimes it's manufactured, but mostly, it's a bit of both.

On the bright side, Eric Reid, a good player who had been without a team since the end of last season (for highly suspect reasons) is back, and we have this:

​

Like Tommie Smith and John Carlos at the 1968 Olympics, players like Reid are using their platform to shine a light on injustice, using their right to freedom of expression to try to spur real, positive change.


And now, the picks.

Winners in Bold

Sunday

Tampa at Atlanta
So maybe there is something to that whole thing about Atlanta's offence being lousy on grass. Well, they're back at home this week. Their defence will still be terrible because of all the injuries, but Tampa's defence is no great shakes either. For reasons that should be obvious, I'm really pulling for Atlanta in this one.

Carolina at Washington
Carolina got a good scare last week, so I expect them to buckle down on defence and give a better effort. This is one that Carolina should win.

Seattle at Jolly Olde Oaklande
Seattle has been showing some spark of late, and Russell Wilson is always dangerous. Oakland is bad, mostly because they don't have (can't afford) enough good players.

Indianapolis at NYJ
I've really been impressed with Andrew Luck, especially in Indy's loss last week. He's been really sharp, and continues to put out maximum effort even as the rest of the offence (particularly his receivers) has let him down. He's the biggest reason that I'm making this pick.

Arizona at Minnesota
Arizona is one of the worst teams in the league, while Minnesota really started to look like the contenders they're supposed to be last week against Philly. Picks like this are supposed to be obvious, but Buffalo thumped Minnesota, so you never know.

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
Cincy has looked pretty good this year, and even when they don't, like last week against Miami, they still find a way to win. They've shown character and resilience. There have been a lot of times in the past several seasons where it looked like Cincy was going to beat Pittsburgh, only to have Cincy self-destruct. I don't know why, but this time feels different to me. And Pittsburgh's offence shouldn't have as easy a time this week as it did against Atlanta last week.

LAC at Cleveland
Phillip Rivers has just been killing it this year. He's been really unlucky, with his team having a tough early schedule, and his with his receivers' spotty play. Everyone loves Cleveland since Mayfield took over. True, the team has a different energy now. I've liked this Bolts team since Week One, and that hasn't changed.

Buffalo at Houston
It's no secret that I think that Bill O'Brien is one of, if not the stupidest coaches in the league. So imagine my surprise to see his team win the last two games because the coach on the other sideline (Frank Reich, then Jason Garrett) out-stupided him in OT. I wonder if Sean McDermott can make it three in a row. I also wonder whether Deshaun Watson can survive much more of O'Brien's stupidity.

Chicago at Miami
Hard to say if Chicago can approach the offensive performance it put forth in its last game, but with the defence can keep playing the way it has, the offence won't have to be nearly as good to beat Miami. Note: Ryan Tannehill is listed as "Questionable" for this one.

LAR at Denver
Man, did Denver's defence stink last week in Baltimore. Just putrid. If they play like that this week, LA will dispatch them easily. Hell, LA might do that anyway.

Baltimore at Tennessee
Two tough defences. Two up-and-down offences. I'm going with the home team here, because I think Marcus Mariota can do more than Joe Flacco to make a difference in a close game.

Jacksonville at Dallas
What a disappointment Jacksonville was last week against Kansas City. I thought that any or all of the Jags' coaches could have been fired based on the game plan. I mean, consider this: playing against a defence that only really does one thing well, which is rush the passer, Jacksonville decided to implement an offensive game plan that relies heavily on Blake Bortles trying to make plays from the pocket. Dumb, right? Anyway, this game is more Jacksonville's speed. They're playing a Dallas team that is limited in what it can do on offence, and overall isn't as talented as Jacksonville. These are the only types of game you can count on a team to win when you know they can't rely on good coaching.



Sunday Night

Kansas City at New England
So, what does Bill Belichick want here? The last two times KC thumped his team, the Pats went to the big game in February. Of course, all that's in the past. What we have now is a very intriguing matchup. KC's offence has lots of weapons and is capable of scoring points quickly and in great numbers. New England's offence is starting to get going, as Brady all-of-a-sudden has a plethora of complementary offensive weapons at his disposal. As I mentioned earlier in the column, KC's defence only does one thing well, and its best pass-rusher, Justin Houston, is hurt. New England's offence should be able to take what KC's defence gives them, control the clock, and limit KC's possessions, and Belichick has had ten days to get his defence ready for this test. I hope that this is as good a game as I think it will be.



Monday Night

San Francisco at Green Bay
I'm sure that when the schedule came out, the powers-that-be at MNF were thrilled at the prospect of Garoppolo vs. Rodgers in prime time. Now Rodgers is hobbled, Green Bay is the same mess is is every year, Garopplo is toast, and San Fran is garbage. Wah-wahhhh...

Thursday Night

Philadelphia at NYG

The good news for both of these teams is that right now, the NFC East is so mediocre that any team could win it. The bad news is that both teams are about to have something bad happen to them tonight.

There's been lots of talk about New York's troubles this season, and I'll get to that, but first I want to talk about Philadelphia. Things haven't exactly been rosy for them either. In a season where offences have put some big numbers on the scoreboard, from Kansas City and New Orleans (of course), to Pittsburgh and New England (sure) to Tampa and Chicago (weird), Philly's offence has been consistently mediocre. Granted, their receivers aren't exactly a strength, and they've been devastated at RB due to injuries. They just haven't been able to score a lot of points. Also, their defence has not been playing at a high level. Last week, as they were getting dominated by Minnesota, I saw a lot of finger-pointing and arguing among some of the defensive players. It seems that the defending champs are not handling success very well.

New York's early struggles were typical of what many teams deal with early in the season; trying to figure out what they have, don't have, need to improve. And from what I've seen, they've done the hard work. Like finally cutting bait on the underperforming Ereck Flowers. It's not an easy thing to admit that a player who came in with such high expectations is never going to live up to them, but they did it.

In the first few games, it looked like New York was going to wear Saquon Barkley down to a nub. However, the team has started to use him in more creative ways, and he has shone. I would argue that Barkley is the most valuable player on the team on offence already.

Now, New York has another problem. Or rather, the continuation of the same problem.

The team is being held hostage by one talented player with an outsize ego and a warped sense of his importance to the team.

Do I really have to say who I'm talking about?

So, you have a guy who's just ridiculously talented. He's also an idiot. He helps the team with the plays he makes, but he hurts the team in so many other ways. Now it's time to decide whether to pay him the money that his skill and potential (and the market) dictate, or explore the idea of life without him. So you talk to the guy. He says all the right things. So, you talk yourself into believing him, and you pay him.

You listen to his words, and ignore ALL of the behaviours, and you pay him.

Now you're stuck with him.

As you all know, Odell Beckham gave an interview last week. It was an idiotic thing to do. I won't even argue the point. The the team went out and gave a great performance, losing to a heavily-favoured, rested Carolina team, and only because of a heart-shredding 63-yard field goal. Then Pat Shurmur goes out and addresses the media about the interview, and the coach just kills it; honestly, one of the best answers I've ever seen a coach give in a presser.

Later, Beckham takes credit for his team's effort, basically saying that the controversy he created was good for the team.

This is what your team paid for, fans of Big Blue. It's Odell's world now, and you, and the rest of the team, are just living in it.

You think I'm wrong?

Sterling Shepard beats up a trash can on the sidelines. Later, he says, "That's not me."

Sound familiar?

At practice this week, they played Lil Wayne (I can't believe I even fucking typed that name) over the PA. Ha Ha ha... that's hilarious. Just a big joke.

I feel bad for the coach. I feel bad for the team. I feel bad for the fans.

Hostages.

(That was a longer rant than I expected. Sometimes it just goes where it goes.)

So anyway, back to the game.

Philadelphia, on the field, is struggling. New York, on the field, looks like a team on the rise.

If things go the way they should tonight, Philly will be two games under .500, and that's bad.

If things go the way they should tonight, New York will get its second win of the season, and that's bad.

Don't get me wrong, a win is a win. I just think that reinforcing Beckham's bad behaviour might cause the team more harm than good in the long run.

Winner: New York

So, more problems with my web host.

I did a draft of my picks list last night and saved it. Came back to it today. No problem.

Spent a few hours writing a long intro piece about the players returning from suspensions this week. Saved the draft. Came back to it later, and the entire intro piece was gone. For some reason, it didn't save.

So now that's gone into the ether.

It's been a frustrating couple of weeks, folks.

Oh well, at least I still have my picks.

Here's a warning in advance, though; I'm bucking some trends again this week. I like doing that. Keeps things interesting.


Winners in Bold:

Sunday

Tennessee at Buffalo
Tennessee seems to be gelling under Mike Vrabel. Marcus Mariota is healthy again. Buffalo is still Buffalo.

Atlanta at Pittsburgh
Atlanta isn't supposed to win this. Their defence is in tatters due to injuries, and their offence isn't supposed to be any good on grass. Pittsburgh's defence hasn't been any good on any surface this year. I think Atlanta is due to win one of these shootouts, after losing the past two.

Denver at NYJ
Even though they're far away from Mile High, I think Denver is just better on both sides of the ball than Gang Green.

Jacksonville at Kansas City
Possibly the game of the week. KC is the popular pick. I'm skeptical, though. Patrick Mahomes has had it pretty easy in terms of the defences he's faced thus far, and this past Monday, Denver was able to get pressure on him, causing him to struggle at times. Jacksonville's defence can get pressure on the QB without dedicating extra personnel to do so, and the rest of their defence is fast and talented. The real key to this game, though, is Jacksonville's offence. When Jacksonville has the ball, they need to sustain long drives, to keep KC's offence off the field, and they need to score points. This is where Leonard Fournette being injured is actually an advantage. Fournette is a special talent, but his backup, TJ Yeldon, is actually a bit more versatile as a pass-catcher, and the offence as a whole is more diversified when Blake Bortles doesn't try to rely too much on just the running game. 

Green Bay at Detroit
This is a tricky one, because Aaron Rodgers will be playing without the services of Randall Cobb, and with Davante Adams and Geronimo Allison limited due to injuries. Green Bay had an easy time with Buffalo last week, while Detroit lost a close one in Dallas. I think Detroit gives Green Bay just a little more than they can handle.

Baltimore at Cleveland
Baltimore's defence, already pretty good, gets CB Jimmy Smith (suspended for some sort of domestic abuse) back this week. Smith probably doesn't start, but he gives them depth. This should be Baker Mayfield's toughest test yet.

NYG at Carolina
As New York continues to find its identity on defence, and as they continue to find more creative ways to use Saquon Barkley (like lining him up as a receiver, which they've done with more frequency over the past two contests), they will have more success. Unfortunately, they are visiting a rested Carolina team that hasn't played in ten days, with a defence that can get serious pressure on Eli Manning.

Miami at Cincinnati
Out goes Gio Bernard, back comes the girl-puncher. Also returning is Vontaze Burfict, who was suspended not for being an unrepentant cheap-shot artist (as he has in the past), but for being a drug cheat. Cincy's offence is humming. Miami got exposed by New England last week.

Oakland at LAC
As per usual, the Bolts will feel like visitors in their "home" stadium, but it shouldn't matter all that much.

Arizona at San Francisco
Every week has to have one "toilet bowl" game, and with Jimmy Garoppolo on the shelf for the rest of the season, San Fran is just another also-ran, like Arizona. I wouldn't watch this game if you paid me.

Minnesota at Philadelphia
So, who had the defending champs a.500, and Minnesota below .500 for this NFC Championship rematch? Not me, that's for sure. Minnesota's defence has looked uncharacteristically awful. Philly has looked good for stretches, but has been maddeningly inconsistent. Against conventional wisdom, I'm betting on Minnesota's defence getting its act together this week.

LAR at Seattle
LA's defence struggled a bit last week, as I thought it might with its top two CBs hurting. Everything should be back to normal this week, so it'll take more than a little crowd noise to stop the most complete team in the league.


Sunday Night

Dallas at Houston
Ezekiel Elliot is playing well, but the rest of Dallas's offence has been abysmal. Houston's pass rush, featuring a rejuvenated JJ Watt, should make Dak Prescott's night a long one.


Monday Night
​
Washington at New Orleans
New Orleans gets drug cheat Mark Ingram back to an offence that is already playing pretty well. Once their defence starts playing well again, they're going to be tough for anyone to beat.

So here it is, short and sweet.

I spent some time yesterday working on my column. Came home from work today, and spent a few more hours getting it finished, edited, perfect.

Then, when I was trying to fix a photo I was including, I accidentally deleted the whole thing.

It's gone. I have no backup. I have to get up for work at 4:25 am.

So, here are my picks for this week.

That's all I have time for.

I'm really pissed.


Winners in Bold:

Sunday

NYJ at Jacksonville
Miami at New England
Philadelphia at Tennessee
Houston at Indianapolis
Buffalo at Green Bay
Detroit at Dallas
Tampa at Chicago
Cincinnati at Atlanta
Seattle at Arizona
Cleveland at Oakland
New Orleans at NYG
San Francisco at LAC


Sunday Night

Baltimore at Pittsburgh


Monday Night

Kansas City at Denver

I've been feeling a bit under the weather this week, so I wasn't able to post a recap on Tuesday. I'll address last week's bloodbath in my weekly picks column, most likely on Saturday.

In the meantime, we have...


Thursday Night

Minnesota at LAR

This past Sunday, as I was settling in to watch the battle of LA, my wife asked, "Who'd you pick in this one?" I answered, honestly, that as they stand right now, there's probably no team in the league I'd pick to beat the R**s.

So here we are, with a matchup between the top two contenders to represent the NFC in the big game in February.

And I'm not happy.

Minnesota, from what I've seen the past two weeks, is a mess. Against Green Bay in Week Two, they should have lost but got extremely lucky, then should have won in overtime but failed to execute. Then they laid a big egg at home against lowly Buffalo, in a game that was basically over after one quarter. They're banged-up. There's the weird/sad/scary/bad Evererson Griffen saga. I just don't know what to make of them right now.

As for LA, I watched on Sunday as both of their prized free agent CBs, Aquib Talib and Marcus Peters limped off the field. I have no idea what shape those two are in, but this being Thursday Night Football (ugh!), I'm not confident in either player being very effective with so little recovery time.

LA has the personnel up front on defence to really exploit Minnesota's OL deficiencies. Minnesota has the personnel at the receiver positions to really take advantage of LA's CB predicament. It's quite the conundrum as to which team has the advantage here.

When LA has the ball, things get a bit more interesting. Their offence has been clicking on all cylinders thus far. Minnesota definitely has a defensive unit capable of slowing down Goff, Gurley, and the gang. Not having the imposing Griffen in the lineup really hurts Minnesota's chances, though, and gives LA a decided edge.

So, there you have it. Two top teams. Prime time game.

Two banged-up teams, playing on too-short rest.

I feel cheated.

You should too.

Winner: LAR

You have to love the NFL.

No matter how hard they try to suppress all the negative stories, things just have a way of happening that makes Roger Goodell and the rest of the powers-that-be look like a bunch of shitheads.

Take Jameis Winston. I mentioned in an earlier column how the league cut a sweetheart deal with him, suspending him for three games instead of six in a hush-hush move. Well, I guess the Uber driver that he (allegedly) assaulted wasn't too happy about the league's not holding Winston to full account, as she has filed a lawsuit against Winston. In an extra added twist, she is represented by John Clune, the same lawyer who represented Erica Kinsman in her suit against Winston.

In other news, LeSean McCoy's former girlfriend, who has made some very disturbing accusations against the Buffalo RB, held a press conference this week about the investigation. The league is being criticized in many media circles due to its deafening silence on the matter.

And, in a lovely blast from the past, we had a heartwarming story about Ben Roethlisberger trying to follow in Donald Trump's mushroom-steps. Jokes aside, Roethlisberger has a history of questionable conduct with women, and was even suspended by the league (six games, reduced to four, such a Goodell move) for such.

As long as the NFL refuses to take these sorts of incidents seriously, the image of the league will continue to be tarnished, no matter how much it tries to deflect, ignore, and cover up.


Now then, on with the picks.

Winners in Bold:

Sunday

New Orleans at Atlanta
New Orleans is struggling, while Atlanta looked much more organized on offence in Week Two.

Green Bay at Washington
Washington is awful, and Green Bay isn't.

Indianapolis at Philadelphia
Carson Wentz is supposed to play this week, and if he does, he'll be without Alshon Jeffrey, Jay Ajayi, and Darren Sproles. Philly's defence had better put the clamps on Andrew Luck, or the champs could end up 1-2 after this one.

Buffalo at Minnesota
Buffalo might be the worst team in the league; Minnesota is one of the best, even with a couple of starters out.

Oakland at Miami
Miami has looked surprisingly good on both sides of the ball. Perhaps purging the team of assholes like Suh and Landry has helped.

Denver at Baltimore
Baltimore is just banged-up enough on defence that I could see Case Keenum stealing a win on the road.

Cincinnati at Carolina
I can see Cincy's defensve front giving Cam Newton fits, helping the visitors squeak out a close one.

NYG at Houston
Houston's good pass rush and secondary spells trouble for Eli. New York's best hope is if their defence can rise up, get their offence a few extra possessions and hopefully some good field position, and hope that Houston's defence tires.

Tennessee at Jacksonville
The only thing that does Jacksonville in here is if they suffer a letdown after their big win last week.

San Francisco at Kansas City
It'll be interesting to see if San Fran's defence can slow KC down at all. KC hasn't played much defence in the first two weeks. This could be a very entertaining, high-scoring affair.

LAC at LAR
The battle of LA. Philip Rivers and co. should be a good test for Wade Phillips's defence. I'd like the Bolts' chances a whole lot better with Joey Bosa in the lineup.

Dallas at Seattle
Dallas isn't great, but Seattle isn't good. Should be a crap game. Would not watch.

Chicago at Arizona
Arizona might be the worst team in the league; Chicago has one of the better defences.

Sunday Night

New England at Detroit
Detroit has looked mediocre thus far. Once again, as is the case every year, the running game has yet to materialize. New England is still in that early stages of the season mode where they're still figuring out what they have and how they're going to use it to, once again, make a deep playoff run. Much of the talk around New England concerns their acquisition of Josh Gordon. I wouldn't expect to see too much of Gordon right off, but if he could potentially be a huge threat in the passing game down the road.
​​


Monday Night

​Pittsburgh at Tampa
Pittsburgh is a team in turmoil. Their defence hasn't played very well. Tampa's offence is on fire.


​Bonus Coverage

These are the games I'll be watching this week (plus whatever else I have time for):

SF/KC; LAC/LAR; NE/DET; PIT/TB