Anti-vax: Amari Cooper outran the vaccine, but not COVID; Hillbilly Edelman got his COVID out of the way early.
You know, you could make a case that this is the worst time of the year.
By now, I’m certain you’re all aware of how I feel about Thursday football. So, you can well imagine how I feel about the six teams, instead of the usual two, having to drag their bruised and battered carcasses out onto a football field in order to add a few more pieces of silver to a bunch of billionaires’ piles of filthy lucre.
Not to bag on Thanksgiving, but it really has developed into kind of a sucky holiday. It’s supposed to be about spending time with family, and giving thanks for good fortune, good health, and the blessings that life and the universe bestow upon us. However, it’s often celebrated through gluttonous feasts, as tens of millions of turkeys are slaughtered, and people gorge themselves to the point of discomfort on too much food. Often, these family feasts turn into acrimonious fiascos, due to people often being forced to share space with unpleasant family members. I can only imagine how difficult it must be now, when the country is so divided. A while back, my wife and I had a conversation with an old friend of hers. This sweet lady’s husband, a wonderful gentleman, has an adult son who is one of these MAGA idiots, and they were talking about how uncomfortable he makes all their family get-togethers, to the point where they just don’t want to see him at all. That’s sad.
Then, after all the feasting and fighting, comes the day after: Black Friday, an orgy of naked materialism and capitalism run amok, as people descend upon various and sundry shopping centres and big box stores in order to push, shove, curse, trample, and otherwise assault each other in the quest to obtain marked-down merchandise that they don’t need.
As far as I’m concerned, they can have it.
When you look at it, Thursday football is perfect for this time of year. Fans talk themselves into believing that they’re witnessing something special, when, in fact, they are being suckered into watching a product that is not up to normal standards because the participants aren’t physically or psychologically up to performing at their peak.
We don’t need Thursday football. We REALLY don’t need three games worth.
Having said that, I truly hope that you, dear reader, have a lovely, peaceful Thanksgiving.
Thursday, November 25th
Chicago at Detroit
This year’s Thanksgiving Thursday Three-fer begins with an absolute piece of dreck, a game between two teams that are not sniffing the playoffs this season. The only thing that could redeem this game would be plucky Detroit finally replacing that goose egg in their win column. Chicago is bad enough and poorly-coached enough to oblige.
Winner: Detroit
Las Vegas at Dallas
Amari Cooper picked the worst time to get COVID. That’s right; I said, “Picked.” When you choose not to get vaccinated, you might as well be choosing COVID. And, as for timing, Cooper’s COVID time just happens to coincide with the stupid tradition of Dallas hosting a game on Thanksgiving, meaning that, unlike that ding-a-ling Aaron Rodgers, Cooper gets to miss TWO GAMES.
Without Cooper last Sunday, the usually high-powered Dallas offense only managed to put up nine measly points. For this game, Dak Prescott will have to avoid some very good Vegas pass rushers without the services of no-vax Cooper and the concussed CeeDee Lamb. Vegas has struggled of late, but Derek Carr is a top-tier QB who can make Dallas’s defense miserable if it’s on the field too much because Dallas’s offense can’t move the ball.
Winner: Las Vegas
Buffalo at NO
If you’d have asked me a month ago, I’d have told you that Buffalo had the inside track for the number one seed in the AFC. Now, they’re not even in first place in their own division. Luckily for them, they’re facing a NO team that will be once again without Alvin Kamara, as well as at least one of their starting Tackles.
Winner: Buffalo
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