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Week One Picks: Ignore That Fire

9/7/2018

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Before I get things under way, I'd like to offer some words of encouragement to the folks who are burning their NIKE gear (and who so generously post their exploits online for our amusement): Please, continue to burn your NIKE gear (and generously post your exploits online for our amusement). Do not donate your overpriced clothing to the homeless and economically disadvantaged veterans who you claim to respect so much. Please, continue to live down to my lowest expectations, as I know you are incapable of rising above, or actually listening, understanding, or caring about other people's struggles. And please, please, PLEASE, continue to start fires as close as possible to your homes, while you fiddle with your camera phones and pontificate your idiotic views. Just ignore that fire. Just do it.

And now, since you've heard quiet enough from me this week, here are some words of wisdom from one of the patron saints of this column, the magnificent Dale Hansen.

​Take it away, Dale; the floor is yours:


And now, this week's picks. Philly won last night, so I'm off to a good start. Winners in bold:

Week One

Sunday

Buffalo at Baltimore
Jacksonville at NYG
Tampa at New Orleans
Houston at New England
San Francisco at Minnesota
Tennessee at Miami
Cincinnati at Indianapolis
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Kansas City at LAC
Seattle at Denver
Dallas at Carolina
Washington at Arizona
Chicago at Green Bay

Monday Night

NYJ at Detroit
LAR at Oakland

Bonus Coverage

These are the games I'll be watching this week (plus whatever else I have time for):

Hou/NE; SF/Min; Chi/GB; LAR/Oak
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