I’m travelling this week, doing some pre-Christmas family visiting. We packed some gifts, our Santa hats and festive Christmas sweaters, and we’re seeing some people we won’t be able to visit over the holidays. Fortunately, this week’s Thursday game is, at least on paper, a mismatch.
 
So…
 
Thursday Night
 
NYJ at Baltimore
 
Baltimore has already clinched a playoff spot, looks like a lock to win the AFC North, and has the inside track for the number one seed in their conference. Meanwhile, Gangrene has shown a few flashes of competence this season, but has been riddled with injuries, and has mostly stunk this year. And don’t even get me started on Le’Veon (Bowling) Bell.
 
Winner: Baltimore                                   
​

My new work schedule is kicking my ass, and I barely have time for much this week, so I’ll dispense with the preliminaries and get right to the picks. As we get closer to the end, that means the stakes are getting really high for some teams, but it also means that there are going to be more and more games that don’t mean a whole hell of a lot.
 
 
Winners in Bold:
 
Sunday
 
Carolina at Atlanta
 
I liked Ron Rivera. I think the players did, too. Neither of these teams are relevant.
 
 
Indianapolis at Tampa
 
Tampa is playing pretty well lately. Indy has kind of faltered, as injuries have limited their effectiveness, but I’m willing to bet that they will give their all this week in order to stave off playoff elimination.
 
 
Miami at NYJ
 
Brian Flores continues to get this Miami team to lay it on the line for him, and that’s amazing. Gangrene is a mess. I’m picking the fun team.
 
 
San Francisco at New Orleans
 
San Fran lost a close one to the best team they’ve faced this year, and there’s no shame in that. This should be a good, close game. I like San Fran here, so long as Jimmy G can protect the ball.
 
 
Detroit at Minnesota
 
Minnesota Minnesota-ed itself out of a potential win last week in a big game against Seattle, which should be self-explanatory at this point. That being said, they should be able to handle Detroit, but don’t rule anything out, as this Detroit team plays hard and has nothing to lose.
 
 
Denver at Houston
 
Say what you want about New England’s flu-depleted roster last week, but Houston stepped up and played hard, and earned their victory. Denver shouldn’t be a match for Houston.
 
 
Baltimore at Buffalo
 
This is the game I’m most looking forward to this week. Buffalo is coming off a defining win in Dallas on Thursgiving, and are well-rested. Baltimore’s offence has been on a torrid pace for the past month-or-so, but San Fran managed to slow them down a bit last week. Buffalo absolutely has the defence to hold Lamar Jackson and Co. The key, as it was against Dallas, is for Buffalo’s improving offence to sustain drives and score points, and for Josh Allen to avoid turnovers. I think Buffalo can pull this one off. I mostly just hope it’s a really good game.
 
 
Cincinnati at Cleveland
 
Cleveland is basically done. Cincy is playing the role of spoiler. Disrespected Andy Dalton came back last week to threaten Cincy’s inside track on the number one pick in 2020. Lots of intrigue here, but no real playoff implications.
 
 
Washington at Green Bay
 
It’s hard to imagine a scenario where Green Bay doesn’t cream these guys.
 
 
LAC at Jacksonville
 
The Bolts could certainly lay claim to the title of most disappointing team in the league this season. Jacksonville’s been plenty disappointing, too, but we’ve come to expect that by now. This is an utterly meaningless game, which probably favours LA because at least they play hard.
 
 
Pittsburgh at Arizona
 
Mike Tomlin is incredible. Somehow, with all the drama, all the egos, all the injuries, whatever shit gets thrown at him, he manages it, and he gets this team to win. Arizona has played well above expectations, but Pittsburgh’s pass rush will make life miserable for young Kyler Murray in this one.
 
 
Tennessee at Oakland
 
Oakland is starting to unravel after looking strong for a bit. Tennessee is really hitting its stride, and should grind Oakland into submission with strong defence and punishing running.
 
 
KC at New England
 
New England knows what to do to stop KC’s offence. If the Pats’ offence can’t stay healthy enough to do its part, that’ll only get them so far.
 
 
Sunday Night
 
Seattle at LAR
 
So, LA beat up on Arizona last week. Big deal. Do it against Seattle, and we’ll talk. I’m betting they can’t.
 
 
Monday Night
 
NYG at Philadelphia
 
With Daniel Jones hobbling around with an ankle injury, Big Blue must turn to its backup QB, young up-and-comer <checks notes> Elisha Manning. With the way Philly has been struggling lately, Jones had better hope that Elisha doesn’t do too well, lest Jones lose his starting job to the 2nd-string signal-caller.

​For as much as I bag on Thursday football, I wanted to use this opportunity to talk about someone who probably doesn’t get very much attention: Dallas Long-Snapper LP (Louis-Philippe) Ladouceur.
 
You’d have to say that Ladouceur was a long-shot to make the NFL. He grew up in Montreal. After receiving scholarship offers from a number of US colleges, he went to UC, Berkeley. After playing on Special Teams as a LS for his tenure there, he went undrafted in 2005, eventually signing with New Orleans, which promptly cut him. No one picked him up.
 
Due to back-to-back games in the Bay Area against San Fran and Oakland in Weeks 3 and 4, Dallas decided to stay in California. They were having problems with their rookie LS, so they decided to give Ladouceur (who lived in the Bay Area) a tryout, and he made his debut against Oakland. He played well that game, and for the rest of the season, and he’s kept the job ever since.
 
This is Ladouceur’s 15th season. He is 38, has never missed a game, and he is set to become Dallas’s all-time Iron Man. Anyone who knows football knows how important a position LS is, and to stay in the league that long, and with one team, is a tribute to consistency.
 
After a 6-year wait, Ladouceur finally became a US citizen in September of this year.
 
Congratulations, LP Ladouceur!
 
 
OK, enough with the touchy-feely stuff.
 
Here are the leaders (plus a few notable challengers) for each division through Week 13:
 
AFC East: New England 10-2 (Buffalo 9-3)
AFC North: Baltimore 10-2
AFC South: Houston 8-4 (Tennessee 7-5)
AFC West: KC 8-4
NFC North: Green Bay 9-3 (Minnesota 8-4)
NFC South: New Orleans 10-2
NFC West: Seattle 10-2 (San Fran 10-2)
 
Wait… I forgot about the NFC East’s scintillating race between Dallas and Philly:

Thursday Night
 
Dallas at Chicago
 
It’s somehow fitting that these two teams are playing their second straight Thursday games, because these two teams ARE Thursday football. I shouldn’t be talking about Thursday football, and I really shouldn’t be talking about these two teams. The only reason Dallas is relevant is because they play in the dumpster-fire-awful NFC East, which they lead at 6-6. Chicago isn’t relevant at all. The league is going to promote this game as a good matchup, but it really isn’t. Dallas, for all their struggles, has a pretty good team, at least on paper. Whatever you might think about their loss to Buffalo last week, or whatever the idiots who cover the NFL tell you, Dallas simply got dominated by a much better team. As much as the league is going to try to sell Chicago as a team like Buffalo, let me tell you, Chicago ain’t Buffalo. Besides the fact that Buffalo has a much better offence than Chicago in every aspect, Buffalo’s defence is better too. I would be very surprised if Dallas doesn’t beat Chicago by a wide margin. However, this is Thursday, so who knows?
 
Winner: Dallas
​

I hope everyone survived Thanksgiving without too much strife. It’s been a busy week for me, adjusting to a new work schedule, so I’ll be keeping the intro to just one quick item before I get to the picks.
 
So, apparently, THIS happened this week:

​

This is a video that JuJu Smith-Schuster posted on his Instagram. It appears to show him driving over 100 mph. No one from the Pittsburgh organization is commenting about this. If you do an internet search on JuJu Smith-Schuster, you get results relating to his injury status, stats, etc., but you have to add another word to the search, like “driving,” to get results relating to this incident. The player and the team need to be held to account for this, and the media that covers the team and the league needs to act responsibly and make this a bigger story. Smith-Schuster is not playing this week, but not because he’s suspended (which he absolutely should be), but because he has a knee injury. He’s also been in the league’s concussion protocol recently. Honestly, I think that driving like that, he should be arrested. Just another example of stupid behaviour by a member of the team that is, consistently, one of the biggest collection of assholes in the league.
 

​And now…
 
Winners in Bold:
 
Sunday
 
 
Tennessee at Indianapolis
 
As much as I like this Indy team, with Tennessee surging the way they have lately, with Ryan Tannehill playing better than ever, and with Derrick Henry running over, around, and through everything, it’s hard for me to pick against them right now. Also of note, Indy will be without TY Hilton (yet again) and Marlon Mack. With Houston playing the Pats this week, this is a huge opportunity for Tennessee.
 
 
NYJ at Cincinnati
 
So, Cincy is going back to Andy Dalton. I wonder how he feels about that. As much as I like Dalton, his team still stinks. I just hope Andy doesn’t go getting himself hurt trying to prove something.
 
 
Washington at Carolina
 
It’s typical for a garbage franchise like Washington that at the end of only their second win last week, their high-profile rookie QB could not be found to take the knee to run out the clock because he was taking selfies with fans. I seriously doubt Washington is capable of winning again against Carolina.
 
 
San Francisco at Baltimore
 
This is the game that intrigues me the most this week. I’ve been standoffish when it comes to San Fran, but they really made a statement in their dominant win over Green Bay last week. They have one of the best overall defences in the league, and they have the personnel to challenge Baltimore’s red-hot offence. Baltimore has been scoring in bunches lately, and their defence has been steadily improving. If San Francisco can sustain drives and limit Lamar Jackson’s possessions, something New England failed to do, then San Fran has a good shot in this one.
 
 
Tampa at Jacksonville
 
I’ve been saying it for a couple of years, but it bears repeating: Jacksonville HAS to fire Doug Marrone. Every year, he loses the team, and the players give up because they know that they have no chance as long as he’s in charge. Tampa will probably blow them out, not that this game matters.
 
 
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
 
I love it when Pittsburgh loses. I expect I’ll love this game.
 
 
Green Bay at NYG
 
Green Bay got taken apart by San Fran last week. That’s got to be a blow to the confidence of a team that fancies itself as among the class of the conference. New York had Chicago on the ropes last week, but the defence couldn’t close the deal. Big Blue is overmatched in this one, but it will still be interesting to see how they fare against a quality team.
 
 
Philadelphia at Miami
 
Dallas losing twice in five days has opened a door for Philly in the NFC East, and they have to capitalize on the opportunity. They’ll be ready.
 
 
LAR at Arizona
 
The sun is setting on LA’s playoff chances. They need a winning streak. I probably should pick them this week, but it’s more fun picking against them. And besides, Arizona is definitely capable of pulling an upset.
 
 
LAC at Denver
 
The Bolts are another one of those maddening, disappointing teams. They’re still in the playoff hunt, but just barely. A win against Denver will be a step in the right direction.
 
 
Oakland at KC
 
Oakland getting thumped by Gangrene last week was a big shock to me. I expect them to bounce back this week. If Oakland’s defence can contain KC’s offence even a bit, then Oakland’s talented young offensive playmakers can run wild against KC’s awful defence.
 
 
Sunday Night
 
New England at Houston
 
Another in a series of tough tests for New England’s killer defence. The Pats will most likely be able to hold Houston to a low point total, and New England’s offence should be able to have a decent outing against Houston’s so-so defence.
 
 
Monday Night
 
Minnesota at Seattle
 
OK, so Kirk Cousins might be finally making a believer out of me. Or himself. Or something. Whatever it is, Minnesota seems to have gotten over that thing they do where they beat up on bad teams but fail to show up for the big games. This is a big game, against a tough Seattle team at home, and with lots playoff seeding implications. I think Minnesota is up to the test.

You know, you could make a case that this is the worst time of the year.
 
By now, I’m certain you’re all aware of how I feel about Thursday football. So, you can well imagine how I feel about the six teams, instead of the usual two, having to drag their bruised and battered carcasses out onto a football field in order to add a few more pieces of silver to a bunch of billionaires’ piles of filthy lucre.
 
Not to bag on Thanksgiving, but it really has developed into kind of a sucky holiday. It’s supposed to be about spending time with family, and giving thanks for good fortune, good health, and the blessings that life and the universe bestow upon us. However, it’s often celebrated through gluttonous feasts, as tens of millions of turkeys are slaughtered, and people gorge themselves. Often, these family feasts turn into acrimonious fiascos, due to people often being forced to share space with unpleasant family members. I can only imagine what it must be like since President Bay Orange took office, what with how divided the country is now. My wife and I had a conversation recently with an old friend of hers. This sweet lady’s husband, a wonderful gentleman, has an adult son who is one of these MAGA idiots, and they were talking about how uncomfortable he makes all family get-togethers, to the point where they just don’t want to see him at all. That’s sad.
 
Then, after all the feasting and fighting, comes the day after, an orgy of naked materialism and capitalism run amok, as people descend upon various and sundry shopping centres and big box stores in order to push, shove, curse, trample, and otherwise assault each other in the quest to obtain marked-down merchandise that they don’t need.
 
As far as I’m concerned, they can have it.
 
When you look at it, Thursday football is perfect for this time of year. Fans talk themselves into believing that they’re witnessing something special, when, in fact, they are being suckered into watching a product that is not up to normal standards because the participants aren’t physically or psychologically up to performing at their peak.
 
We don’t need Thursday football. We REALLY don’t need three games worth.
 
At any rate, I truly hope that you, dear reader, have a lovely, peaceful Thanksgiving.
 
 

Thursgiving
 

​Chicago at Detroit
 
As long as Mitch Trubisky is the starting QB for Chicago, I’m going to have a difficult time picking them to beat any half-way decent team. Detroit, even with Jeff Driskel under Center, is more than capable of giving Chicago a good game. Despite some of the crap that I keep reading and hearing about Detroit, Matt Patricia has done a good job this year, and Detroit’s poor defensive performance has had much more to do with injuries than anything else.
Winner: Detroit
 
 
Buffalo at Dallas
 
I look at Dallas’s roster, and I wonder why they’re not doing better, and I can’t quite figure it out. Whatever it is, their inability to perform well against quality teams this year is the sort of thing that I usually chalk up to poor coaching. Dallas is in for a tough one here. Buffalo has consistently proven that they have one of the toughest defences in the league, and paired with a strong running attack that features Frank Gore and rookie Devin Singletary, they are well-equipped to present a very physical challenge to a tired Dallas team coming off a tough, bad-weather tilt against New England. The key to this game will be how well young Josh Allen performs. Allen’s running prowess and size has given Buffalo’s offence an extra added dimension. For Buffalo to win here, Allen will need to perform well, and avoid turning the ball over.
Winner: Buffalo
 
 
New Orleans at Atlanta
 
Atlanta showed a flash of what was expected of them this year with consecutive wins over New Orleans and Carolina, before crashing back to earth last week against Tampa. You’d be hard-pressed to prove that there has been a more disappointing team in the league this year than Atlanta. New Orleans’s defence has been looking a bit ordinary lately with Marshon Lattimore injured, but their offence keeps chugging along in efficient, but unspectacular fashion.
Winner: New Orleans

Hey there, folks.
 
Busy week for me, and not much time for a big introduction, so I’m sticking to football this week.
 
Looking at the playoff races, the conferences are like night and day. The NFC is really top-heavy, with five teams already having 8 or more wins, compared to only two in the AFC. With so much cream rising to the top, the stakes are getting really high for some teams in the NFC. For the LA McVays, going from league runner-up to third place in the West and two games out of a Wild Card spot is quite the kick in the arse. Meanwhile, Dallas and Philly are battling for East supremacy, knowing that second place likely means no playoffs at all. Contrast that with the AFC, where the Pats have 9 wins, Baltimore has 8, and then there are a whopping TEN TEAMS with between 4 and 7 wins. A logjam like this will make for some pretty important games down the stretch.
 
In the NFC, the races seem to be more about seeding, whereas in the AFC, it’s more about just getting into the postseason mix. It’ll be interesting to see how much clearer things are after this week and next week.
 
So, without further ado…
 
Winners in Bold:
 
 
Sunday
 
Denver at Buffalo
 
I’ve been high on Buffalo since the beginning of the season, and they’ve been pretty good to me this year. Their defence should be able to stuff Denver, which just leaves it up to Jared Allen and Co. to execute a conservative game plan and avoid turnovers.
 
 
NYG at Chicago
 
Though they’re far from a playoff contender, New York will continue to hold my interest because of how bright their future looks, and because I’m curious to see how the coaching situation gets handled. Whatever problems Big Blue might have (and I have been emphatic in my dislike of Pat Shurmur), I’m pretty convinced that Daniel Jones will be a successful QB in this league, provided he gets the proper coaching, and an improved OL to protect him, as the team already has loads of talent at RB and WR. Chicago needs to solve their QB situation, or they’ll never go anywhere, and they will have wasted a lot of great defensive talent. I’m feeling an upset here.
 
 
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
 
Even with a pile of injuries AND Maurkice Pouncey suspended, I still can’t pick Cincy in this one. The only thing I want to hear out of The Queen City is where are they sending Andy Dalton.
 
 
Miami at Cleveland
 
It’s impressive how much effort Brian Flores has gotten out of a Miami team that was gutted by salary dumps before the season had even begun, and continued jettisoning players afterward. With the draft capital Miami has accumulated, I hope Flores gets a chance to stay on for a bit and work with some of the new talent that will be coming in over the next few years. As for now, they’re in the spoiler role, so Cleveland, and any other teams with playoff aspirations that play them, had best not underestimate them.
 
 
Tampa at Atlanta
 
Atlanta has baffled me all season. I had them pegged for the playoffs, but they went into a tailspin, posting a 1-7 record. Then, they turned into world-beaters, thumping New Orleans and Carolina. Might as well make it a divisional three-pack.
 
 
Carolina at New Orleans
 
Carolina’s defence has looked pretty ordinary this year, and Kyle Allen seems to have turned into a pumpkin. Call me crazy, but I believe that the biggest obstacle standing in the way of New Orleans making a deep playoff run is Drew Brees.
 
 
Seattle at Philadelphia
 
One of the best matchups this week. Russell Wilson outduels Carson Wentz.
 
 
Detroit at Washington
 
Even without Matt Stafford, and with a bunch of defenders hurt, I still like Detroit in this one.
 
 
Oakland at NYJ
 
Oakland continues to impress, and I’ll be rooting hard for them in this one, especially since they seem to be the only team in position to challenge KC for the AFC West title.
 
 
Jacksonville at Tennessee
 
Is it just me, or does it seem like every team in the AFC South goes win/loss/win/loss…? Jacksonville lost last week. OK. Tennessee won its last game, but had their bye last week. Hmm…
 
 
Dallas at New England
 
Another marquee game. New England plays host to a Dallas team that is built to win, but can’t seem to do so with any kind of consistency. New England’s defensive secondary depth, plus the fact that Stephon Gilmore can lock down any receiver Dallas has, will make things difficult for Dak Prescott. This game will be determined by which offence can grind out drives and wear down the other team’s defence.
 
 
Sunday Night
 
Green Bay at San Francisco
 
This will be a key game in the race for one of the top seeds in the NFC. A Green Bay win would even the teams’ records, and give the Pack the tiebreaker edge, while a San Fran win would put them two games up. San Fran has a bunch of key injuries, and will be without Dee Ford, who they will sorely miss as they face a stiff offensive test from Aaron Rodgers and Co.
 
 
Monday Night
 
Baltimore at LAR
 
LA’s defence has been playing better since acquiring Jalen Ramsey, but their offence is still dogshit. I have a hard time imagining LA being able to match Baltimore score-for-score.

​As we get deeper into the season, and as close, divisional matchups like this one get even harder to predict, I have to think a lot harder about all of the factors that can affect the outcome of a game. Even still, NFL games are so unpredictable by their very nature, with sheer number of players and plays (not to mention intangibles like injuries and officiating) involved, that sometimes, making game picks feels like a fool’s errand.
 
That’s what makes tonight’s game so tragic.
 
Here we have two teams, with identical records, squaring off for the lead in the AFC South. There’s a lot at stake, obviously. Houston, in particular, would suffer mightily with a loss; having lost to Indianapolis already this year, failing to even the season series, plus accumulating another divisional loss, could be the deciding factor should they end up tied for the divisional lead at the end of the season. In this division, where last-place Jacksonville is only two games off the lead, and surging Tennessee is only one game back, this game is huge.
 
I know I might sound like a broken record, but the fact that a game of this magnitude, between two high-quality teams, is being played on a Thursday is a shame.
 
With both of these teams just a few days removed from hard-fought games, and with both teams dealing with injuries to key players, this game does a disservice to the fans that support each team, as well as fans of football in general, and is cruel and dangerous for the players. It’s incredibly ironic that this contest is presented in “prime time,” when we all know that, no matter how much the players might want to give their all, no matter how motivated and proud they might be, that there’s only so much a player can get out of a body that is tired and hurting.
 
So, when you’re watching the game tonight, remember that the ones who benefit the most from Thursday Night games aren’t the ones with anything at stake.
 
 

Thursday Night
 
Indianapolis at Houston
 
In a game like this, with so much to consider, I like to stick mostly with what I know. When these teams met a month ago in Indianapolis, both defences were able to keep the running games in check, and Jacoby Brissett out-dueled Deshaun Watson. Brissett could have another big game against a Houston defence that is without JJ Watt (who played in their previous meeting), and which is dealing with a seriously depleted secondary (both starting Safeties are Out). As well, Houston’s defence was on the field for over 35 minutes against Baltimore on Sunday, and they were punished on the ground. By comparison, Indy’s defence had a much easier day against Jacksonville, and is mostly healthy. Indy will be without top RB Marlon Mack, but with their staunch OL winning battles up front, little-used RB Jonathan Williams went for over 100 yards against Jacksonville.
 
When it comes right down to it, for Houston, though the will might be there, they just have too much more than Indy to overcome.
 
Winner: Indianapolis

​Some weeks, I wonder what I’m going to write about, and others, the columns almost write themselves.
 
You’ve no doubt seen or at least heard about the fiasco at the end of the Pittsburgh-Cleveland game on Thursday Night, a wild scene that featured lots of cheap shots—punching, kicking, blind-side hits, and, most notably, Myles Garrett pulling off Mason Rudolph’s helmet and hitting him over the head with it.
 
Reactions by current and former players came swiftly, via social media:

​The league reacted swiftly too, suspending other players involved, and banning Garrett indefinitely, but at least for the remainder of this season, including playoffs.
 
Football is a violent game. The players know that, and they accept a lot of risk when they suit up and step on that field. What Garrett did transcends that, in that a helmet was used as a weapon to strike another player in the head, which could have had disastrous consequences.
 
I was watching the game, and I found a few things that happened in the immediate aftermath, very interesting, and I thought they bore mentioning.
 
First of all, was Baker Mayfield’s interview with Erin Andrews, immediately after the game. I’ve been tough on Mayfield, writing about his lack of maturity and undisciplined play, but this interview was impressive. With no time to prepare or decompress, with the game just finished, Mayfield was calm, honest, thoughtful, and mature as he discussed the Garrett incident and assessed his team’s performance in the game:

​Note how he immediately calls Garrett’s act “inexcusable,” and yet, even as he truthfully discusses what happened, he does not condemn his teammate. Instead, he puts the incident in the perspective of how Cleveland’s players have hurt the team with their actions. Notice how he continually says “we.” Then, when the discussion turns to the victory, he eschews gloating, instead opting for a critical analysis of how the offence needs to get better. For a second-year player, for any player, this was a great interview. I thought is was revelatory; Mayfield, in an unguarded moment, showing that he has the poise and class to be a team leader.
 
Contrast that with Ben Roethlisberger. Big (Head) Ben, after a game against Cincinnati two seasons ago in which a Cincy player was concussed by a dirty hit, and Pittsburgh LB Ryan Shazier was paralyzed, faced a similar situation, a post-game interview with Lisa Salters, during which the then 14-year veteran had this to say:
 
Lisa Salters: "Ben, how would you explain just kind of the viciousness and the brutality of this game?"
Ben Roethlisberger: "AFC North football."
Salters: "That's it?"
Ben: "Yup."
 
To say that Mayfield severely outclassed Roethlisberger would be to damn Mayfield with faint praise, as Big (Head) Ben has never shown any evidence of class. To wit:

• Multiple credible accusations of sexual assault
• Suspended by the league despite never having been convicted of sexual assault
• Crashed his illegally-driven motorcycle while not wearing a helmet
• Calls teammates who hold out for better pay disloyal while himself pulling down $30 million+ per season
• Publicly criticizes teammates, whom team officials refer to as his “children.”
• Golfing buddies with President Bay Orange

 
As to that last item, Roethlisberger apparently tried to emulate his golfing buddy by creepily trying to get into Stormy Daniels’s hotel room. Gross.
 
And, because this is the NFL, Roethlisberger will be in the Hall of Fame someday.
 
Incidents like the one on Thursday seem to follow Pittsburgh around. Some call it divisional rivalry, or “bad blood,” but if you look at Pittsburgh, it’s not hard to think that they’re the catalyst in it all. I mean, they are, consistently, one of the biggest collection of assholes in the league, and that goes right to the top. Several years ago, Pittsburgh had a WR, Cedrick Wilson, who hit his girlfriend. The team released Wilson, a backup. Shortly afterward, star LB James Harrison, broke into his girlfriend’s bedroom, took her phone (she was calling 911) and broke it, then struck her across the face. He admitted to everything, was arrested, released from custody, but not by the team, as Wilson had been. When questioned about this, team owner Dan Rooney, a catholic, characterized Harrison’s actions as “doing something good,” because Harrison wanted to take his child to be baptized and the girlfriend, the child’s mother, did not want him to.
 
(This, by the way, is the same James Harrison who, after Pittsburgh won the Superb Owl in 2009, refused Barack Obama’s invitation to the White House for the totally rational reason that Obama only invited the team is because they won.) 

​I don’t know about Garrett, but James Harrison definitely should have been thrown in jail.
 
But that’s Pittsburgh for you.
 
And now…
 
Winners in Bold:
 
 
Sunday
 
 
Atlanta at Carolina
 
Atlanta shocked everyone last week by beating New Orleans. Based on what I’ve seen of Atlanta this season, I’m calling it a fluke, and with Austin Hooper and Devonta Freeman out, I think they’ll add to their loss column.
 
 
Dallas at Detroit
 
I was talking to a co-worker today, a Dallas fan. He agreed with me when I said that I have no idea which Dallas team will show up on a week-to-week basis. Detroit’s defence has struggled, and has been given a bad rap by some, which I think is unfair, based on the number of injuries the unit has suffered. Detroit’s D is getting a bit healthier, but it’s still banged-up, and without Matt Stafford, they’ll lose. Of course, that depends on which Dallas team shows up.
 
 
Jacksonville at Indianapolis
 
Jacoby Brissett is expected to return, providing a definite upgrade under Center. Brissett will have to face the challenge of not having TY Hilton, but he and Indy’s defence should be able to pull out a win in this important divisional matchup that features the return of Nick Foles.
 
 
Buffalo at Miami
 
Buffalo lost a tough one in Cleveland last week, but they should be more than capable of ending Miami’s weird and unexpected two-game winning streak.
 
 
Houston at Baltimore
 
This is one of the best potential games of the week, featuring two of the brightest young stars in Deshaun Watson and Lamar Jackson, both of whom are legitimate MVP candidates. Watson is the superior QB, but I think that Houston’s injuries on offence, coupled with Baltimore’s depth in the defensive secondary, gives the home team the edge here.
 
 
Denver at Minnesota
 
Minnesota is riding pretty high right now, and nothing short of a huge letdown on their part will result in their losing to Denver.
 
 
NYJ at Washington
 
The league should just cancel this one. 2-7 vs. 1-8, loads of injuries, the home team is essentially a hate crime. Flush.
 
 
New Orleans at Tampa
 
New Orleans dropped a deuce at home last week, and I do mean of the turd variety. Tampa’s offence is geared towards big plays, and with New Orleans being without Marshon Lattimore this week, there’s definitely a chance for Tampa to hit on some of those deep passes. New Orleans simply has to be better on offence than they were last week. Maybe Drew Brees coming back wasn’t such a good thing.
 
 
Arizona at San Francisco
 
With the exception of a few duds against good teams, Arizona has been in every game, including a three-point loss to San Fran two weeks ago. The ‘niners are coming off their first loss, and are dealing with a load of injuries right now. I’m feeling bold.
 
 
Cincinnati at Oakland
 
Cincy is terrible, and I’m still mad about Andy Dalton (but also a bit happy that he doesn’t have to take any more punishment playing for this putrid team).
 
 
New England at Philadelphia
 
Another candidate for best matchup of the week. Philly has gotten healthier on defence, and has been playing better of late, but will be without Alshon Jeffrey. New England’s offence is slowly rounding into form, and their defence will be too much for Carson Wentz. On a side note, I’m anticipating being sick of hearing about Superb Owl LII, because the NFL hype machine is nothing if not predictable.
 
 
Sunday Night
 
Chicago at LAR
 
Two of the best teams from last season, both of which are hanging on by a thread, and are long-shots to make the playoffs. Everyone knows Chicago’s problem; anything approaching decent, consistent QB play, and this is a top team. LA seems to be suffering from a decline in OL play, plus a Head Coach who is trying too hard to be a “genius” instead of doing what it takes to win games. Last week against Pittsburgh, Todd Gurley was having one of his best games, yet, in a close game, Gurley didn’t touch the ball in the 4th quarter because Sean McVay wanted to give Malcolm Brown more carries. It’s ludicrous. McVay’s insistence on winning “my way” reminds me of another “genius” coach from the franchise’s past: Mike Martz. It was Martz who, in a close Superb Owl, eschewed giving the ball to his best player, Marshall Faulk, in the second half, en route to a loss. For those of you that don’t remember, that was the game that concluded New England’s Cinderella 2001 season.
 
 
Monday Night
 
KC at LAC (in Mexico City)
 
I don’t even know what to say about this one. KC’s defence is a sieve, and the team lost a shootout to TENNESSEE last week even with Patrick Mahomes back. The Bolts are another of those maddening teams that can’t seem to find any kind of consistent rhythm. LA should be a bit better this week after the extra rest that comes with playing a Thursday Night game. This game is in Mexico City which makes me think: 1) I’m sure the Bolts must be CRUSHED to give up a home game in the city that doesn’t care about them, and 2) I wonder if many KC fans will travel for the game, and how well their racist chants will go over. Stay tuned.

OK, so let’s get this out of the way…
 
Try as I might, I just can’t seem to shake stupid baseball. Apparently, the Houston Astros, only recently removed from the double embarrassment of revealing themselves to be an organization full of assholes AND losing all four home games en route to losing the World Series, are now embroiled in a cheating scandal. Of course, if this were football, this would be big news (particularly if it involved New England… that’s just catnip for the media), but since it’s baseball, it’s only sports news. Anyway, check out this guy, breaking things down on Twitter:

​

​And now back to football.
 
So, this happened on Tuesday:

I’ve written a few times about Kaepernick just this season alone. It’s a travesty that he’s not playing, especially when you look at some of the putrid QBs who are currently on NFL rosters. Spineless sports journalists and publications, afraid of losing their precious access, are loath to criticize the league, so it’s important to remember what an injustice has been done here. Whether it’s former teammates like Eric Reid, other high-profile players like Odell Beckham Jr., or mega-celebrities like Rihanna keeping Kaepernick’s name out there, the NFL seems to have finally reached a point where it realizes that they can’t just sweep this issue under the rug. Some, including Reid, have expressed skepticism as to the league’s sincerity, citing the short notice to Kaepernick and timing of the workout (Saturday, as opposed to Tuesday), with Reid questioning whether the whole thing is a “PR stunt” by the league, so that the league can look good in saying that it gave Kaepernick a chance.
 
Stay tuned.
 
 
Thursday Night
 
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
 
This is an intriguing matchup between division rivals, both of which are within striking distance of the playoffs despite struggling at times this season. Cleveland has underachieved, particularly on offence, largely due to problems on the OL, as well as due to the immaturity of Baker Mayfield, and the coaching staff’s inability to give him proper guidance. Pittsburgh has scratched its way back to respectability after a slow start, mostly due to a steadily improving defence, which has been anchored by a talented pass rush. Pittsburgh’s defence looks like bad news for what ails Cleveland’s offence. The big question in this one is how much offence Pittsburgh can muster against Cleveland’s talented defence. I give a slight edge to Pittsburgh, because I trust Mason Rudolph more than Mayfield not to turn the ball over.
 
Winner: Pittsburgh

​Last week, I wrote about how Washington Nationals’ pitcher Sean Doolittle, had publicly stated that he wouldn’t be visiting the White House with his team, due to a severe case of good sense and morals. Although Doolittle, as well as a few other Nats did not attend, most of the team did, and the crowd in attendance was treated to this nauseating spectacle courtesy of Nats player Kurt Suzuki:

Is it just me, or does anyone else think that President Bay Orange has used this move before, coincidentally after the object of his gross affection has had something put over their head? At any rate, hopefully this brings to a conclusion any more mentions of baseball in my column for the foreseeable future.
 


​Enough with the preliminaries. Let’s get to the picks.
 
Winners in Bold:
 
 
Sunday
 
 
Baltimore at Cincinnati
 
The Cincinnati franchise has wasted the prime years of a lot of really good players, three of whom still toil for the team: AJ Green, Geno Atkins, and Andy Dalton. Dalton, it appears, is on his last legs in Cincy, and in typical fashion, the team has done Dalton dirty. Dalton, a very good QB, and by all accounts a great team player and all-around good guy, has been benched by new, terrible Head Coach Zac Taylor, apparently for the crime of not playing particularly well in Taylor’s shitty offence. And to make matters worse, the team waited until after the trade deadline to bench Dalton, instead of giving him a chance to seek a trade to a team that actually wanted him and might actually benefit from his services. Too bad, Andy. You deserve better, in my book.
 
 
Buffalo at Cleveland
 
Watching Cleveland, on the field and off, it’s pretty plain to see that there’s no sense of logic or cohesion to anything that’s going on with the team. The talent is obviously there, but the team looks, not just like an underachieving team, but utterly hopeless. That’s an organizational problem, and a coaching problem. I’m sure many of you saw the pictures of Baker Mayfield last week, showing up to the game with his facial hair looking a certain way, then different on the field, then different again after the game. This young player is so screwed-up in his head that he’s playing terribly, the team stinks on ice, and he legitimately seems to think that his facial hair matters. Those are some pretty whacked-out priorities. If someone, whether it’s the coaching staff or a veteran player doesn’t straighten that kid out, he’ll be another in a long line of busts for the mistake by the lake. A date with Buffalo’s punishing defence could make for another long afternoon for Mayfield and the rest of his offence.
 
 
Detroit at Chicago
 
It’s no secret that Detroit has been one of the teams hardest-hit by injuries this season, and they’ve had a particularly hard time on the defensive side of the ball. The big news this week is that Matt Stafford is hurt, and there are serious questions as to his availability and effectiveness. Stafford’s as tough as they come, but against Chicago’s defence, if he’s not 100%, Detroit is in for a rough afternoon, and even Chicago’s pitiful offence should be able to muster enough points against Detroit’s banged-up defence for the home squad to pull this one out.
 
 
NYG at NYJ
 
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it funny the this is considered a home game for Gangrene? Big Blue will be down Evan Engram and Sterling Shepard, and they’re pretty thin along the OL as well, so they’re going to need Barkley and Jones to be in tip-top form. Fortunately for them, Gangrene is looking pretty banged-up on defence. Look for the real home team to win a close one.
 
 
KC at Tennessee
 
Patrick Mahomes should be back under Center for this one, and I expect KC’s offence to roll over fading Tennessee.
 
 
Arizona at Tampa
 
Arizona has been surprisingly good this year, and have proven that they’re not a team to be taken lightly. Last week, after falling behind to undefeated San Fran, they mounted a furious 4th quarter comeback, falling just a field goal away from tying the game. I think their offence can hang with Tampa’s, and with Chandler Jones forcing Jameis Winston into some of his typical mistakes, Arizona can definitely take this one.
 
 
Atlanta at New Orleans
 
With the way these two teams have been playing, I fully expect this one to be decided by half-time.
 
 
Miami at Indianapolis
 
Even without Jacoby Brissett and TY Hilton, Indy should be able to win this one comfortably to stay in the AFC South hunt.
 
 
LAR at Pittsburgh
 
LA is coming off a bye, and is looking to keep pace in the tough NFC playoff chase, while Pittsburgh is coming off a win against Indy in what was one of the worst-officiated games of the season (and that’s saying something). LA may not be playing at the level they were last year, but with an extra week’s rest they should be able to handle Pittsburgh.
 
 
Carolina at Green Bay
 
This should be a good game. Green Bay is coming off a humbling loss to the Bolts, and will be looking to bounce back with a lineup that is as healthy as it’s been in weeks. Carolina is a good team that is capable of giving Green Bay all it can handle, but in the end, I see Aaron Rodgers spreading the ball around and having a big day.
 
 
Sunday Night
 
Minnesota at Dallas
 
Minnesota did Minnesota things last week, losing to KC in a game they should have won as the offence once again disappeared during crunch time. I’d have a hard time picking them to beat Dallas anyway, but without Adam Thielen, I’ll definitely take a hard pass on Minny.
 
 
Monday Night
 
Seattle at San Francisco
 
I’m hearing that there’s a good chance that George Kittle might not be able to go in this one. That would be a huge blow to San Fran’s offence, as Kittle is the team’s leading receiver, as well as a big part of its running game. Seattle will be the best team San Fran has faced thus far. The key for Seattle will be to get off to a good start and not fall too far behind early, because mounting a comeback against San Fran’s defence would be a heck of a lot tougher than coming back to beat Tampa, Cleveland, or Cincy, which Seattle has had to do this season.