Week Nine Picks
Winner in Bold
Sunday
Atlanta at Carolina
Two maddeningly inconsistent teams; nigh-impossible pick. Seriously, I’m guessing here.
Indianapolis at Houston
This is a Brissett-over-Savage pick.
Cincinnati at Jacksonville
Andy Dalton throws four INTs, followed by almost-Brown AJ McCarron throwing three more.
Tampa at New Orleans
I keep hearing and reading about how baffling it is that the Bucs haven’t made “the leap” this year, as so many experts predicted. I have a theory, which I will summarize thusly: if you’re looking for leadership, maybe you shouldn’t expect that a (most likely) rapist with low moral character will provide it.
LAR at NYG
Giants still suck, in case anyone forgot.
Denver at Philadelphia
Philly’s probably the best team in the league right now, so I feel safe in saying that Brock Osweiler isn’t going to beat them.
Baltimore at Tennessee
If Tennessee can’t beat the Ravens, then I don’t know what to do with them.
Arizona at San Francisco
This could be the week. I mean, why not?
Washington at Seattle
Seahawks hold serve at home.
Kansas City at Dallas
No, seriously, fuck Jerry Jones and fuck Ezekiel Elliot. What a joke. When Elliot is finally forced to sit down, I hope it’s at the worst possible time, and I hope Dallas misses the playoffs because of it.
Oakland at Miami
Adam Gase is just begging to be fired. He’s terrible. Can’t get his players ready; can’t get them to care; has no control over the team. Miami is a joke of a franchise.
Monday Night
Detroit at Green Bay
Green Bay’s best chance for winning any game is currently healing broken bone, so…
Winner in Bold
Sunday
Atlanta at Carolina
Two maddeningly inconsistent teams; nigh-impossible pick. Seriously, I’m guessing here.
Indianapolis at Houston
This is a Brissett-over-Savage pick.
Cincinnati at Jacksonville
Andy Dalton throws four INTs, followed by almost-Brown AJ McCarron throwing three more.
Tampa at New Orleans
I keep hearing and reading about how baffling it is that the Bucs haven’t made “the leap” this year, as so many experts predicted. I have a theory, which I will summarize thusly: if you’re looking for leadership, maybe you shouldn’t expect that a (most likely) rapist with low moral character will provide it.
LAR at NYG
Giants still suck, in case anyone forgot.
Denver at Philadelphia
Philly’s probably the best team in the league right now, so I feel safe in saying that Brock Osweiler isn’t going to beat them.
Baltimore at Tennessee
If Tennessee can’t beat the Ravens, then I don’t know what to do with them.
Arizona at San Francisco
This could be the week. I mean, why not?
Washington at Seattle
Seahawks hold serve at home.
Kansas City at Dallas
No, seriously, fuck Jerry Jones and fuck Ezekiel Elliot. What a joke. When Elliot is finally forced to sit down, I hope it’s at the worst possible time, and I hope Dallas misses the playoffs because of it.
Oakland at Miami
Adam Gase is just begging to be fired. He’s terrible. Can’t get his players ready; can’t get them to care; has no control over the team. Miami is a joke of a franchise.
Monday Night
Detroit at Green Bay
Green Bay’s best chance for winning any game is currently healing broken bone, so…
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